Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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