she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
