Where did you get a picture of my penis
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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