brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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