I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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