it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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