go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
