Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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