youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
