Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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