i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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