You can't special order awesome
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
