I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
