Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
