i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
