Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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