OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
