i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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