i think my tv is drunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
