I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
