My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
