So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
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Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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