Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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