Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
