My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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