my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
