i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Text me some of your sweat
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
