The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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