I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
