Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
that is very illegal...i love you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
