youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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