my phone needs a breathalizer
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
BRING THE BAGELS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
