Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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