good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
