All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
