Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
