Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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