Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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