She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
