hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
