hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
