Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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