You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
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