mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
