dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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