have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
