And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize