dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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