she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
