If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
