I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I touched a dick in church today
I think my moral compass just broke
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