Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
