it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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