I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
