she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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