Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
