It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
