My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
