Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
